after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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