At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're like the curious george of whores
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
