So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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