She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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