What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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