Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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