I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
