Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
