i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
