I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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