O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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