I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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