Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
