The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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