She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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