Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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