I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
