My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize