Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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