hotel room ftw
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
