everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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