I swear she didn't look like that last week.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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