actually, I'm a sock model
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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