I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
3pm strippers are depressing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
