plz talk dirty to me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
this hospital has no fireball
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
