i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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