Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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