I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
