I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
