Pappa wants mamma naked
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
