If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
