you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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