I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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