I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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