i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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