just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
