my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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