I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
