Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
