Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
