dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
