And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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