i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
