He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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