can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
