but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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