Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
