I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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