from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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