Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
