Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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