Moan for me like Helen Keller
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
