This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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