Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
