I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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