Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
