There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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