is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
