That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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