Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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