thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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