why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was confusing and full of hummus
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
