That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
