I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
