maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
