She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
sex in a hospital.. check
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
