Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
