M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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