Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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