I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
