i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
