I must be too annoying 4 u.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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