Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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